Relationships · Observation IV · World Watcher
WORLD WATCHER
OBSERVATION IV · RELATIONSHIPS
Have you ever really met anyone?
Picture your best friend's face.
Notice how fast it arrived.
That was not them.
That was your file on them.
The file is years old.
Think of your last argument.
Replay a few seconds of it.
Notice how reasonable you sound.
Now replay it from behind their eyes.
Stay there a moment.
In their version, they are the reasonable one.
In their version, you have a file too.
You never argued with them. You argued with your file.
They argued with theirs.
The closer someone gets, the less you check.
You assume you already know them.
Strangers get your full attention. Your favorite people get your autopilot.
You have never met anyone.
Only your predictions of them.
THE RECEIPT
No better.
People understood their spouses no better than they understood strangers. They expected to do far better.
SAVITSKY, KEYSAR ET AL. · J. EXP. SOC. PSYCH. · 2011
Everyone you love is partly your invention.
So are you, to them.
You will answer for someone today before they speak. That was the file.
OBSERVATION IV · WATCHED
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